when i returned home yesterday, driving to NC and back in a beautiful day, my brother was in the backyard with diana. he pointed out that flowers were blooming, this first time this year. i was delighted; i had been concerned that we had lost them all in the hurricane last year, what with all the treefall. little purples peeping from the autumn leaves (need to blow them away). still jazzed on caffeine from the road, i happily started rolling the round wooden crossections of the huge fallen oak (that scott and luke and i had cut and left strewn about) towards the gate (need to haul them away) until my hands hurt and i wanted a shower.
now it’s supposedly saturday, but with the rain it feels like a weekday upon which i’ve called in sick to work. i have photochopping to do on the band pictures from last week, so i should get on that; my notions of yardwork will have to wait.
being in love with joriel comes as natural as breath these days. just as i stress on occasion, and then i pause and remember to breathe, and all is well again. my optimism has evolved from mindless to mindful; my life feels uneclipsed, a small but pleasant whole, a pendulum of heavy labors and great joys.
we mused upon the last couple of years recently, and i found it difficult to imagine not knowing her now; she is both source and symbol of so much positive change in my life. coupled with the rewards of my own personal spiritual evolution, i would have to admit that overall i’m happier now than i’ve ever been.
i need to photograph her again quite soon. i’m famished and there’s no reason for it, though admittedly it is a titillating hunger that i would miss were it ever completely satiated, as like for sex and ipanema.
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