more job applying for ben today. i get so annoyed with some of the tech positions i run across; my favorites are the entry-level crap-pay positions that require 5 years of experience + a working knowledge of C/C++, Quantum Mechanics, the Heisenberg Compensation Matrix, etc. ok, the last 2 i made up, but you get the idea - how can a position be ‘entry level’ if they need you to have worked in the appropriate field for X number of years? sometimes i’m tempted to apply for something i’m woefully unqualified for just see how far through the interview process i can get before they realize i’m totally bullshitting them. i would start telling outlandish lies, like how i invented the term ‘cyberspace’ and have a microchip in my neck that can hack any computer in the world. then i’d start talking in binary and get annoyed when they didn’t respond in kind.
anyway. my 6-7 years doing tech support and such are qualifying me for a number of postings, so i shouldn’t complain; i just wish someone would get back to me already. can’t someone at least send me a ‘no way we’ll never fucking hire you’ email, just so i know they’re at least receiving my resume?
i applied for a help desk job today that listed the following requirements (among others) for the position:
MATHEMATICAL SKILLS
Ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide in all units of measure, using whole numbers, common fractions, and decimals.
REASONING ABILITY
Ability to apply common sense understanding to carry out detailed but uninvolved written or oral instructions. Ability to deal with problems involving a few concrete variables in standardized situations.
also:
Must possess ability to adapt to change.
in other words, you need to be able to do simple math, and carry on a conversation as if you were an adult. it would also be nice if you didn’t lose your shit if we ever need to switch out your monitor. imagine the sort of folk this company must have hired in the past that necessitated these sorts of conditions for employment. and for some reason i’d like to work there too. gah
about once a day i think about how little desire i have to go back to a help desk/customer support position, which sounds dreadful, as opposed to, say, selling my photographs, which sounds like light and happiness. very little of my equipment/material is here yet, though, so i can’t really pursue such creative, fanciful notions for the moment. better just to get some crap job to help keep our bills paid for the first few months while i ‘find myself’. maybe i’ll write a poem about my search for meaning and my love of grilled cheese sandwiches while i’m at it.
i shared my desire to write a ‘zine’ with joriel the other day (as in, writing it together); she’s equally excited about the notion. this is one of many projects i’ve been sitting on until things settled down enough to give them attention, some of which mark their dusty origins in the first year of the 21st century. once our stuff arrives on the 18th (or soon after, the bastards - i’m starting to wonder about them) and we’re all unpacked, i’ll have nothing else holding me back from said projects except the biggest obstacle - me, and my vast laziness. stay tuned…
3 Comments
i would love to hear the poem about the grilled cheese. i need some inspiration. and don’t worry, you’ll be fighting the clone wars soon enough..
stay real on the left coast my friend.
I was writing a blog entry about being lazy, but I got bored and started watching Buffy reruns.
How can they doubt you’re ability to adapt to change? Just explain to them how you ended up in Seattle.
It takes your average Joe Schmuckatelli about three months to hunt for and land a job so don’t sweat it, you’ll find something. If the thought of tech support doesn’t bring you “light and happiness” maybe you should consider something else less dreadful. There are a lot of coffee shops in Seattle - maybe your immediate future has something to do with coffee beans.? I hope you find something that will bring you much joy. And don’t forget - write if you get work and the thing with the thumbs and the hanging from high places and the glaven!
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