night on the beach, no moon, no stars, the sand a cliff overlooking a black roaring nothing the size of everything. i run alongside, screaming that i love you, my words drowned in the wind, cold, tide rising, until i cannot remember what came before running, before aching, before loving. back in the car i promise myself that i will never tell you any of this. that the moment is too full of holy madness to ever be spoken of. i drive away quickly, as if i am being followed. in a few miles the clouds dissolve and the stars come out. the road is dry and white and leads me home.

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