we named him Sagan, after the late Carl. one of my heroes.

everything has changed, kinda. yet i still feel like me, even as i type this one handed, infant human cradled in the other.

last night: we had the birth at home, in a large tub of water in the living room. joriel and i in the tub, me supporting her as she moaned and roared like a lioness, and the water turned red with blood.

then, hours later, there he was – our son, emerging from the water, ghostly white with vernix, we laughing with delight. later, the placenta emerges – i cut the cord, and he is on his way.

many years from now, he’ll be scattering our ashes, saying farewell. by then, i hope we’ve had time to give him all the love we already feel in this most wondrous of hellos. where this love comes from, and whence it goes, is just another beautiful mystery.

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