Attention, all the folks who walk/jog/bicycle at night, who also:

1. Wear all dark, non-reflective clothing
2. Do not wear lights
3. Have no interest in being seen by others whatsoever

I need to understand what’s going on, here. Specifically, when you’re doing your thing in the quiet, unlit sections of the road running through Interlaken Park, often in the middle of a downpour. Are you being hazed in your effort to join the local ‘Warriors of Darkness’ guild? Ninja, please. I understand that by the time I ride up, your Supernatural Night Vision has long since kicked in, allowing you to see All Things in their natural beauty, untouched by the harsh intrusions of Man’s cold, soulless beams – the problem is, I CAN’T SEE YOU, because I’m using lights to see things (and to be seen) at night (when it’s dark), until I’m right about to put my front tire up your butt. Bonus points for those also jamming out on their iPods, thus eliminating any possibility of hearing my approach.

My hope is that you will either change your stealthy ways, or at the very least, write your contact information on your arm for ease of identification by the authorities after they find your body several dozen feet off the road, having being unceremoniously placed there by the front bumper of one of the many idiot tween drivers who plow through that section of the park, high on dog tranqs or whatever it is the kids are doing these days. I’d call them out here as well, but they’re too busy destroying the English language on Facebook to read some old person’s blog.

NEXT TIME ON “STRANGE BUT HARMLESS”: Top 5 Methods For Extricating Those Kids From Your Lawn

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